How Angela Chase From “My So-Called Life” Shaped Me
In 1994, I was 12 years old and on the verge of teenagehood. It was an awkward time filled with growing pains: puberty, angst, self-consciousness and an escalating interest in boys. It was also the year of my favorite short-lived television series, “My So-Called Life”—a show that accurately captured moody teenager vibes. This show was a revelation. These teenagers weren’t like stereotypical adolescents that television usually portrayed. They were complex, thoughtful, and dealing with deep (and not-so-deep) issues that can plague young adults.
I had a visceral experience the first time I watched it. The show’s protagonist, Angela Chase, was the first television character I saw myself reflected in. Angela thinks deeply about everything. She’s hyperaware and sensitive—often daydreaming about things like the strangeness of eating in public and ways of getting her crush Jordan Catalano’s attention. Angela’s introspective inner dialogue made her a complex character with depth. I also “thought too much” and felt conflicted by my desire to follow my own path while also wanting acceptance from my peers (I still do!). Watching Angela made me feel less alone, less weird.
Part of the reason the show impacted me was because the characters weren’t pretty and perfect. They struggled with real teen problems—the same problems I was dealing with. They also had an intense desire for things to happen to them — that relentless yearning for life to evolve, to make sense. The characters reflected people and feelings I was familiar with: the wild best friend, the intense crush, the complicated mother/daughter relationship. I was able to see parts of my life experiences being played out on screen. It’s clear to me that more diverse teen shows need to be available so that others can experience this. Thankfully, it seems we’re getting there.
Being an almost-teenager, I was eager to latch on to an identity. I morphed into Angela’s doppelgänger: I dyed my hair crimson red, cut it into a long bob, copied her style of speech, and (of course) wore all of the overalls. I felt like I was Angela.
“Part of the magic of the show was that we don’t know what happens next. Or maybe we do. We can imagine how each character evolved through our own unique lens.”
It pains me that we never got to see what happened to them after that first season. Except if we had, I don’t think I’d have such an unyielding admiration. Part of the magic of the show was that we don’t know what happens next. Or maybe we do. We can imagine how each character evolved through our own unique lens.
In many ways, Angela Chase is still a part of me. Just like my teenage self is still a part of me. Now, 26 years later, I still find myself lost in thought: feeling and thinking “too much.” Even questioning who I genuinely am. As teenagers, we think growing up will answer the uncertainties of our youth. In reality, that teenager inside us will always be there, reminding us of the endless cycle of feelings and vulnerabilities that make us *like* human.
This post was originally posted on www.glitterguide.com
